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i collapse into bed almost an hour exactly after i get off from work. appetite shot, brain pounding, freshly showered like a flower. like a plant that grows in the garden center, clumps of dirt pouring onto the counters when the flimsy plastic containers they come in get caught on the conveyor belt and tumble over. like a vegetable grown from a seed packet, not a thought in my head but scan, scan, scan . greenhouse yourself, warm and moist behind the cloth face mask, so...