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Edward Snowden revealed that bioluminescent government agents were living in your computer watching you watch cam girls and browse old memes that washed up on the shores of Reddit, all under the guise of stopping terrorism, and he had to flee the United States and go live in a Russian airport bathroom, and yet you continued on using Windows, purchasing a new copy every few years making Bill Gates a gorillionaire in the process, so that he could get to his end goal of...