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The neighbors give me funny looks, I see them whisper and take note,
They'll see what's what when I'm the one who's guarding checkpoints by their throat.
I am a peaceful man, of course, but I am also pre-prepared,
To neutralize the threats of which the average citizen's unscared.
In short, when my whole identity's a brand of tactical accessory,
You'll say a better warrior has never graced a Cabela's registry.
***
They say I have to tolerate a man who thinks he is a...